Crime and Punishment
Can you see the door ahead of you Amanda? Are you willing to go closer, to look beyond it? Tell me, what is it that you see?
As I closed my eyes, drew a deep breath and embodied the moment, an image of a brightly coloured circus tent towered before me. My body shaking as the mantra of “I am greatness” repeated over and over inside my head.
Curling back the canvas and weaving my body inwards past the fleeing crowds, my senses sharpened to the chaos that was unfolding. My body froze, time stopped and the rivers of my eyes broke their banks across my cheeks. I had arrived in hell and was surrounded by the living dead. This place was overrun with rejection, judgement and suffering. Standing centre stage in the circus of my saboteurs, I came to realise these overwhelming visions of the dark side of greatness were limiting my growth.
As I peeled the label from its sleek backing and placed it firmly on my chest for all to bear witness, the bold black writing expanded out energetically as well as from corner to corner. Here I was, consciously present to the hardest thing to “be with” in life and that which I want the most, GREATNESS!
The Giant Within
On reflection, it should, therefore, come as no surprise that those who come to me for coaching are also largely disconnected from their greatness. We attract that which we see and want in ourselves and others. Look around you, who are you inspired by? Who are the people showing up in your life? What does it teach you about yourself?
Only this past week when I was knee deep in a coaching session did I find myself being profoundly reminded of this. Like a stone in my shoe, there it was again, “Greatness” was niggling away at me.
My session was with a giant amongst women, young vibrant, funny, articulate, incredibly talented and yet she was hiding. Life, after all, had taught her to hide, to play to realism as opposed to idealism, to not be too greedy for new stars to reach to. She was hiding from appearing too much of everything, too bold, too boastful, too emotional, too vulnerable, too exposed, too lost, the list goes on. What was showing up was only a portion of what was available to her in terms of her inner leader. And so it was that for the remainder of that session, the Greatness in me reared up in order to ride out and summon forth the Greatness in her.
Owning “Greatness” doesn’t have to feel shameful, it is not about being embarrassed for our choices that came before or indeed the ones to come. Equally, it is not our job to hide our greatness in fear that others will feel small or insecure. In its purest form, stepping into “Greatness” is about breaking open our hearts so that others will open theirs.
In our ancient communities, we placed heart, vulnerability of our planet and growth of spirit at the centre of every decision. We did not divide ourselves in terms of who we were with close friends and families and who showed up at work. We shared and welcomed stories that were told, wisdom and knowledge that was passed (whether from elder or child), we taught our children to be connected to spirit and earth and most of all we lifted up the weakest in our communities, knowing that one day their greatness would fill us up.
Around the world today it may feel like everything is breaking down, where the “greatest of our achievements” could also be considered our downfall. A place where global and indeed corporate leaders, communities and connections have not materialised as we so desired. Yet how much of this is because we have willingly hidden, following the ideals and ways of others who have not yet opened their hearts.
In going forward on our next journey, it feels we must first journey back to the greatness we want in our hearts, for ourselves, others and our planet. It is time to raise our ideals, reach beyond the fears of rejection and judgement and beckon forth the true leaders who have been in hiding. Time is upon us. That which was lost must now be found. The journey home has started and these are the shadows before the dawn.
Over to you.
If anything in my blog struck a nerve with you I’d love to hear about it. Share your story/insights in the comments box below.
Equally, if you've enjoyed reading this article, please share it with others.
I refuse to believe the human spirit was put on this planet to crush or be crushed. I invite you to break open your heart and consider what it is, that is the hardest thing for you to be with in life, what do you resist in others and to what extent is this present in you? What demons do you need to face in order to raise your compassion, connection and awareness?
**A note to the wise, there is much that as human beings we cannot be with. Choose bravely that thing which you resist most, that which you judge frequently. Deep in its darkness is a gift waiting to be unearthed.